Batereys Not Inklooded
by Haykatsi
Summary: Ramae and Xhu are two completely....not normal....girls. let's see what sorts of crap they get mixed up in with Kurama and Javert! a story of love, hate, obsessive stalking, and Pete the Screamin' Pineapple! a Yu Yu Hauksho Les Miserables crossover.


authoress: this is a story i wrote with my friend, Di...on AIM...in december (thus the semi-off topic of chappy 1!) anyways, i finally got around to posting it! some credit also goes to Di, because we both made up the original plot, and she also let me use her chars. also, im sorry if some of the Le Miz stuff is off...i dont really know much about the chars (Di is the Le Miz one) i only know a few of the songs and all that jazz ()

disclaimer: i dont own Yu Yu Hakusho or Les Miserables...but i would be VERY happy if i did.

Xhu (c) me

Ramae (c) Di

**Chapter 1**

**!SNOW DAAAAAAY! **

Ramae was sitting at her computer doing homework one morning before school……or at least she was trying to.

"Damn math….useless shit…………..JAVERT!…….stupid……." her eye twitched.

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOHMIIIIIIIIIIIIIGOOOOOOOOOOOD!" Ramae looked around. was that xhu? Just then Xhu kicked down the door and came running in, dragging Kurama by the collar of his shirt.

"Uhh, Xhu? Is there a reason you and Kurama are still in your PJs at 7:30 in the morning on a Monday?"

"SNOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!" pant, pant "DAAAAAAAAAYYYYY!" shouted Xhu, nearly throttling Kurama in her excitement.

"What?"

"Haven't you looked outside?" said Kurama, gently holding Xhu back from killing him on accident.

"Ehh…..no?" Ramae leapt onto the top of the futon and looked out the window. "HOLY CRAP! WHERE'D THAT COME FROM?"

"The sky, you idiot," said Javert, coming out of nowhere, holding a cup of coffee.

"OHMIGOD JAVERT!" Ramae squealed. She proceeded to glomp the hell out of the poor inspector, but received a face full of scolding hot coffee when she tried to snog him. "MY SKIN! IT BURNS! AUGH IT'S WONDERFUL! MY DREAM COME TRUE! OMIGOD OWW!" Kura and Xhu face faulted. Ramae fell to the floor and rolled around screaming at the feet of an extremely pissed looking Javert.

"What a waste of coffee……."

"Now that's not very nice!" said Mort, the dog collar wearing stick figure, coming out from the corner in which she had simply been hiding behind herself.

"TIS A MORT!" exclaimed Xhu.

"WHERE?" yelped Mort, wheeling around.

"HEY! Lookie what I got!" said Kurama, waving a bag of wasabi peas in front of the stick figure's face. "FETCH!" he threw it out the door and Mort chased after it.

"WAAAAAASAAAAAABIIIIII PEEEEEEAAAAASSSSS!" Javert sighed.

"THANK YOU!"

"Uhh, Kura, where did you get those wasabi peas from?" asked Xhu.

"Uhh…..you know….I have _no _idea!" Everyone except for Kurama anime fell.

"RAMAE, JAVERT! GET IN YOUR P-JAMS AND BREAK OUT THE HOT CHOCOLATE!" shouted Xhu, grabbing Kurama, her special black down comforter and a few pillows and running downstairs. Ramae followed them, coming back a few seconds later to drag Javert after her.

By the time Ramae and Javert got downstairs Kurama and Xhu were already cuddling on the couch with mugs of hot chocolate, both wrapped up in Xhu's black down comforter. Hoshi, Xhu's dragon was also there, curled around Kura and Xhu on the couch.

"SNOW!" Xhu screamed as the other two came in.

"Yes we all know that, Sumi-chan," said Kurama quietly, patting her on the head.

"OHMIGOD I GOT WASABI UP MY NOSE!" Mort screamed from some other random part of the house.

"Hokay! Let's watch de MOVEHHS!" shouted Ramae attacking the shelf of DVDs and whatnot that stood on the opposite wall. Xhu followed suit and the two girls proceeded to strip the shelf of anything even remotely resembling a DVD and/or movie of any kind. Kurama and Javert just sat there, watching them.

"Sooooo…..how 'bout them Stealers…." said Javert, stabbing the marshmallows in his hot chocolate with a random pointy object.

"Hmmm….yeah…..wait what?" Kurama face faulted, obviously not expecting that, and was then hit upside the head with a stray season two of the X-Files.

"OHMIGOD! Let's watch…….RED DWARF!" Xhu screamed, leaping back onto the couch and throwing a Red Dwarf DVD at Javert, who was closest to the TV. He stared at it, examining it at all angles.

"What the hell is this?" Everyone sweatdropped.

"Jeebus! Lemme do it!" said Ramae. She yoinked it away from Javert and put it in. Xhu leapt onto Kurama and settled herself on his lap. Ramae tried to do the same with Javert but only earned another coffee shower.

A few seconds later there was a crash and John Veljean fell down the chimney, dressed like the Easter Bunny. "TWO FOUR SIX OHH OOOOOOOONNNNNEEEEEE!" the TV screen cracked as he hit the high note.

"HOLY HEMOGLOBINS!" said Javert, jumping up and sending Ramae (who had finally managed to sit on his lap without getting coffee-fied) flying. He attacked Veljean and the two of them began to have a fully-fledged Kung-fu battle in a corner, complete with cheesy sound effects, crappy voice-overs, and totally visible harnesses and safety pads, whilst Bob the TV repair man and George Foreman Grill impersonator came and fixed the TV whilst making them all grease-free, cooked-like-the-Champ burgers!

Anyways, the TV was soon fixed and Javert and Veljean had decided to settle their differences (WE'RE DOOMED!) so they all decided to watch random guys do drag on the Maury Show! Then Javert decided to go insane and kill himself by jumping off a bridge into some random icy river.

Whoo! Cliffy!


End file.
